Monthly Archives: April 2012

While I Was Sleeping

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Okay, so I haven’t blogged in awhile. Understatement, I know. In the interest of keeping it real, I’ll just say that I’m struggling with keeping a schedule.

I’ve had a 9 month, extremely frustrating depression medication change. The first medication I was given left me feeling agitated. What that means is, I couldn’t sleep and I went from 0-60, calm to upset/angry/tearful. Never knew which it would be. So, I was up half the night, usually reading. After several months of this, I realized, it’s the medication, not me. So, at the end of the year, I changed meds. The one I’m taking now does the opposite. I’m tired, and I mean sleepy, all the time. Other than that, my mood is pretty good. But the tired makes it hard for me to do anything, and bonus, since I’m less active, I’ve gained weight. I think, I should go exercise, but I’d really rather just take a nap. I need to work on my book. I’ll just take a nap first, and the next thing I know, the whole day is gone. In short, I feel like a slug. And the thought of switching meds again makes me insane. I’m sick of the “let’s try this” method of managing my meds. To that end, I decided to stop going to the Psy and let my Primary Care Doc take that over. However, the last time I went to her, she charged $210 !!!! Had I known I was being held up, I would have gone into the appointment with my hands in the air the whole time. My insurance has a high deductible and no co-pays. How do people manage without insurance? It’s nuts!

Long story short, I guess I’m going to get my blood work done, get highjacked again by my physician, and go back in a couple of weeks to talk about the lethargy. Sigh…

Meanwhile, the clock keeps ticking. I mean, it’s April already. How did that happen while I was sleeping? I have a book due to my publisher in a month and a half. My son is graduating college next month. His baseball season ends in about 2 weeks. We have spent practically his whole life on the sidelines. I have absolutely no idea what we’ll do now. I’ll probably go sit at a ball field somewhere because that’s what I’m programmed to do. It’s sad to see it end, but exciting to see what’s next for him! My son rocks. I’m so proud of the man he has become!

A few things have happened on the book front. I’m plowing through the new book, which I’m calling Unforgettable. And when I say plowing, I mean I using the old fashioned kind of plow pulled by a stubborn mule in rock-hard, dry earth. It’s slow hard work with few glimpses of what I’d call “good.” I just want to finish, is that too much to ask?  I also published a new short story on Amazon. It is the third in my Fast Break Romance line. The title is Aphrodite’s Garden. It’s a really cute story about a florist and a doctor who grows roses. With a little help from the goddess of love, they both might just get everything they want.

On the subject of Amazon, I know that they are controversial. You may have heard that they are putting book publishers and bookstores out of business. And there’s all that noise about price fixing that has resulted in the government filing lawsuits against some of the big players in New York. I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I really feel that the book publishing business was lucky that technology didn’t catch up with it sooner. They should have seen the writing on the wall and looked ahead to the innovations that were coming and tried to figure out how that could fit in to their business model. Instead, they  waited, and publishing is notorious for this. They sit back and wait for it to blow over, and then they pick up where they were before the little bump in the road. Well, I’m sorry, but I don’t think that ePublishing or eReaders are going away. Case in point, Amazon has sold MILLIONS of eReaders. During the Christmas season, they sold over 6 million Kindle Fires alone, and they have three other affordable types of eReaders. And they have apps for any kind of reader you may have, including the iPad. Amazon has been good to me. Very good. When I lost my job, I didn’t know what was going to happen. If it had not been for the income I received from Amazon revenue through my publisher, I don’t know where I’d be right now. I’ve applied for teaching jobs since I got my MFA, but have had only had one interview. So, I am now officially a bonafide working from home author. If I find a job teaching great. If I don’t, I’ll be fine with what I making from the books. So, thank you Amazon and Bell Bridge Books. Keep doing what you’re doing so I can stay at home and write, or could stay at home and write if I wasn’t so dang sleepy all the time!

Also on the publishing front, I am an Associate Editor for a new literary magazine called Minerva Rising. It is a women’s magazine, published by women and all the stories are written by women writing about the female experience, whatever that means to each individual person. We are accepting submissions of short fiction, essays, poetry, art and photography. So, go to our website and submit Deadline for the first issue is May 1. So, do it now! http://www.minervarising.com.

I read a blog this morning that inspired me. I found it on Pinterest, which by the way, I love! It is about a woman who is losing weight practically. No harsh diet, no crazy workout routine. She’s setting a schedule and sticking to it. That’s what inspired me. She had sleeping disease, too, so she did what I began doing last week. Setting my alarm and getting up. I’ll call that Step 1. Step 2, she eats breakfast. I do that as well! Next, she exercises. I HATE to exercise, all caps. HATE it. She hates it, too, for the same reasons as me. She doesn’t like to sweat and hurt. So, she swims. Hmm, I don’t have easy access to a swimming pool, I’m not a strong swimmer, and I really don’t want to chance anyone seeing me in a swimsuit. So, I’m trying to figure out what I can do. I have a gym membership I haven’t used in like 6 months. I should go there and avail myself of the equipment and classes they offer that I’M PAYING FOR, but that requires leaving my house in the morning. Hmm… Not sure about that. I have a bike in my barn. Maybe I’ll try pumping up the tires and doing that tonight. Or I could just walk. Point is, I need to schedule something and do it.

Schedule. I’m working on a schedule starting this week.

Next, she schedules time for work and class. Well, I work, but I don’t have class. So, I should schedule a slot of time when I put my butt in the chair, fingers on keyboard, writing. I can do that. I WILL do that. I always find that when I write, I can write more than what I planned to. I need that right now with the deadline looming.

I also want to schedule time to volunteer. I want to get back to doing things through church. Church on Sunday and volunteer doing something. I used to sing. I’ve always sung in church–always, but I haven’t done that in a couple of years. My son keeps asking me why I’m not in choir. I don’t have an answer. They are also doing a summer fine arts camp at church. Hello–I have an MFA. I can teach writing. Must talk to the volunteer coordinator this week. It’s on the schedule.

As far as diet, the advice is to just be practical. Eat fruit instead of ice cream and chocolate. Eat less. Eat when you’re hungry. I can do that.

So, I’m committing today on this blog, in front of God and everybody, that I’m going to schedule and stick to the schedule. This has always, always worked for me. Have a plan, work the plan. There’s a verse of scripture in the Bible that says (paraphrasing), without a vision, people perish. I don’t want to perish. I have too much to do and people who care about me to perish.

Check back in to follow my progress. The new schedule will include blogging once a week. I would love encouraging comments! So,  let’s cheer each other on. Share this with your friends so they can cheer, too. Maybe you even want to make changes as well. Let’s do it together.

Happy scheduling!

Debbie

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